Yesterday was the first Valentine's day that been celebrated without flowers or chocolates from Azlan. Been reading about the real meaning of Valentine's day from Sabsabby's blog, I am happy that we did not officially celebrate the day like previous years.
Only thing was we surprised and touched each other's heart with a special gift. Well, the gift was not something expensive or any high end brand, but it was something practical. i dont like when we have to splurge for each other and end up we have to slash here and there to make it to the next salary.
i enjoy growing up with Azlan. Both of us are the eldest in the family. Being the eldest, we both have huge responsibilities that we carry on our shoulders. We have to lead good examples for our brothers and sisters to follow. The most important thing is, we both are really independent. We always look out for each other, we share all the moments we have in life, transfer the weigh of the burden in our head and shoulders to each other so it will become less, holding hands and support each other in everything that we do.
I am just so grateful that i have him in my life. He is such a good friend, a good brother and a very good listener. Being in a broken family is not something easy, with lots of changes that you need to adapt to, and lots of conflicts that you have to deal with, Azlan make everything lots easier for me. I am also grateful that Azlan is also a low profile person, he doesnt has much interest to buy expensive clothes, he saves and spend his own penny for everything. He use his Credit Card for his and my car petrol only and very seldom use it for other things. Knowing him is like that, i start to follow suit. I cut down my credit card expenses, limit my shop for expensive things and start to cancel the card one by one (mind you i have three, one given by the bank i worked with when i graduated) And now i only keep one card which is Citibank with clear outstanding ( i made a vow to my self that i am not gonna use the card UNLESS in a forced situations - with Azlan next to me, i dont see why is this a problem coz everytime i took out my card for payment, his eyes will be widely stare at me - and that looks manage to make me to put the card back to where it belongs. Haha.
We both also have to put ahead our family in everything that we do. Like me, i will allocate a portion of my salary to give out to my mom every month and Azlan on the other hand help his brother and sister who currently pursuing their studies in Uni. We really rely on each other a lot since we are not staying with our parents. Luckily our houses are just nearby, so there is no problem of him fetching me and sending me for work everyday. ( and ya, buy teh o ais for me every nite) Haha. i guess we both are very lucky, we both have permanent job with alhamdulillah, good pay and perks - though my job is like super duper stress but Allah always help me to make it through and in the end everything is just fine for me. ( I je yang mengada lebih) We have the interest to read books and recite Quran- Alhamdulillah. We have the guilty feelings in us when we did wrong to anyone. And deep inside, i know that Azlan and i, we really want the very best for our future and we try our best effort to live for others as well... Alhamdulillah....
But, of course, not every relationship will 100% been blessed with all the good things. We also have our ups and downs, arguing here and there, unintentionally hurt each other...but then in the end, we realize that we need each other more than anything else in the world (besides Allah and our family) ... i am also grateful, that my mom loves him like her own kids and she cares so much about him that sometimes i will be very jealous. But after all, he is all alone here and we are the only place for him to turn to and i forgive him for that. Haha.
i do hope and pray that Allah will always bless our relationship and helps us to make through this complicated life - and please dont stop giving us big rezekis and nikmats coz only to Him we turn to and our faith is only to Allah. Amin.